Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Money puns in 2025

No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.
– Quoted in P.S. I Love You

How can you get rich by eating?
– Eat fortune cookies.

I don’t usually boast about my finances.

What do you call a financial scam in Egypt?
– A pyramid scheme!

Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in?
– Somebody’s making a penny.

I need a new bank account.
– This one has run out of money.

Personal financing is very…INTERESTing

“Well, I’m going to have to pay the bills on that huge house,
– so I suppose I’ll wish for a billion dollars.
– That ought to cover it for a while, at least.”

Who handles financial matters in a monastery?
– That’s nun of your business

“Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives.
– But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? ..
– No Pockets.”

College is the opposite of kidnapping.
– They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children,” and I said, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

Irresponsible financiers must be discredited.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America.
– If I’m not there, I go to work.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they’re asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

But my credit card company calls me everyday to tell me my balance is outstanding.

Follow us on Facebook