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Money puns in 2025

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”

When does it rain money?
– When there is change in the weather.

I saw a homeless guy on the street with a sign that said, “One day, this could be you.”
– I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he’s right

What does an accountant use to hang decorations?
– Tax

The market is weird. Every time one guy sells,
– another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Where do frogs deposit their money?
– In a river bank.

I let my kids follow their dreams,
– unless I already paid the registration fee on their last dream, then they follow that for 6-8 more weeks.

A few months later, the businessman is looking over his finances and notices a recurring bill of $120 a month.

This is an awfully hard time for me financially.
– Last month I was unable to pay the bills to my exorcist and as a consequence I have been repossessed.

“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.”

How can you be sure you have counterfeit money?
– If it’s a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.

I now know why I used to love Christmas as a child.
– I did not have to pay for the gifts!

Even my bank says my balance is outstanding.

If I’d had a nickel for every time I’ve been financially irresponsible…
– I’d probably still be in debt right now.

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
– A very witch person.

If marriage is grand, then what is divorce?
– Ten grand!

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