Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Money puns in 2025

Which department do you call when ants go missing?
– Dept. of Finance.

MBA: A course that teaches you, how the world is financially screwing you over
– while financial screwing you over

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

The boy that used to bully me at school is still taking my lunch money.
– On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

Why did the clean freak hate dealing with Cost of Goods Sold?
– Because it always made their profit “gross”

Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?
– Pyramid schemes.

What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
– The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?
– Buff-a-loan!

“It is yours as you desire.
– Your ex will be happy to learn she now owns a 200-million dollar mansion.
– What is your next wish?”

I feel the classical musicians from the 17th and 18th century were not financially well-off.
– Because they come from the Baroque era.

“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor

I am currently boycotting the companies that sell items I can’t afford.

My wife’s credit card got stolen the other day.
– I haven’t bothered reporting it, though,
– because the thief spends much less than my wife.

I went for lunch with my accountant and he ordered a bowl of insects.

It’s big, pink and hard first thing in the morning, and sometimes I get my wife to help me with it.
– Anybody else like the *Financial Times* crossword?

No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.
– Quoted in P.S. I Love You

How can you get rich by eating?
– Eat fortune cookies.

Follow us on Facebook