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Money puns in 2025

If time is money are ATM’s time machines?

I don’t mean to brag but I’m helping a Nigerian Prince with a pretty serious financial matter.
– I can’t really talk about it.

“Oh yeah,” the brother replies.
– “Dad always wanted to go out in style so we rented him a tuxedo.”

Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?
– Pyramid schemes.

“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.”

Nothing says’ I love my dog’ quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own

It’s true that money can’t buy you true love. It does,
– however, put you in a good position to bargain.

My finances got spread too thin.

Banks have been using insects to adjust customers’ balances and deal with financial issues.
– They’re the account ants

“Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail”

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