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Monkey puns in 2025

What’s a monkey’s favourite teacher at Hogwarts?
– Professor Sn-ape.

What did the father monkey call his son?
– A chimp off the old block.

What does a banana do when it sees a monkey?
– The banana splits.

What does a woodcutter say before he chops down a tree in the rainforest?
– “Let the chimps fall where they may.”

Why do monkeys carry their babies on their backs?
– Because it’s too hard dragging a buggy up those trees.

How do you get an escaped lion back into its habitat?
– You use a bargaining chimp.

Someone forgot to bring the chimps and dip.

If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
– Pay him.

What do you get when you cross a baboon and a parrot?
– Nobody knows, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you would definitely listen.

Where should a monkey go if she loses her tail?
– To a re-tail-er.

What do you call a monkey holding a firecracker?
– Ba-BOOM!

Two monkeys are in the bath.
– One turns to the other and says, “Oooo ooo aah aahh!”
– The second monkey says, “Well, put some cold in then!”

Did you know before they had monkey bars, monkeys would just drink at home.

What is a monkey’s favourite dance move?
– The banana split.

What do monkeys do at work?
– Monkey business.

How did the monkey get down the stairs so quickly?
– It slid down the banana-ster.

Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
– There are too many cheetahs around.

What’s a monkey’s favorite drink?
– Chimpan-tea!

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