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Monkey puns in 2025

In March, I found a monkey paw and used it to wish to work from home every day.
– I’m sorry, everybody.

Which side of a monkey has more hair?
– The outside.

What did the banana say to the chimp?
– Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

Why are baboons considered the life of the party?
– Because they’re more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

How do you catch a monkey?
– Climb a tree and act like a banana.

What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla?
– The banana split.

What d’you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
– Anything you like, it won’t be able to hear you!

What do you call a monkey that wins the World Series?
– A chimpion.

Someone forgot to bring the chimps and dip.

What did the banana say to the monkey?
– Nothing, bananas don’t talk.

How do monkeys get down the stairs?
– They slide down the banana-ster.

What do you call a monkey that’s in charge of its tree?
– A Branch Manager!

Why shouldn’t you fight with a monkey?
– They use gorilla warfare.

What came first, the monkey or the ape?
– The dinosaur!

What did the monkey say after his tail got caught in the lawnmower?
– “Won’t be long now!”

What happens when you double cross a monkey?
– They go bananas.

What do you call a baby monkey that takes after its mum?
– A Chimp off the old block.

How did the monkeys win the fight?
– They used gorilla warfare.

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