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Nurse puns in 2025

The invisible man was hurt in an accident, so he went to the hospital. As it was packed with patients, the student nurse said that she can’t see him now!

When one nurse gave the other nurse a list of names of organ donors sorted in alphabetical order, the second nurse teased, “Wow, these are so organized”.

The state hospital had great wifi in the infectious diseases ward. I think it was probably because it was a hot spot!

The nurse visited the library of the hospital to take notes on her anatomy lessons. As soon as she took the book, she noticed that someone had taken the appendix out!

The patient who was in the hospital woke up coughing. The nurse checked and said it could be pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but then it is quite a hard thing to say at first!

I once needed saline, so I was hospitalized. The nurse gave an I.V. drip, but it turned out that the drip had expired. I think the nurse gave me a poison I.V.

The nurse who drew my blood at the hospital kept persuading me that my blood was type B, but I am pretty sure that it was a Type O!

Nurse: Sorry for the waiting
– Me: No problem, I’m patient.

A nurse and a soldier stepped into a hospital together. The soldier claimed that he was supposed to report there, but the nurse made him understand that he was at a different front line!

The student nurse had her first day at the hospital. When a man with a gashed leg was brought to her,
– the nurse said in wonder, “Ohh gauze”!

Once, a man visited a hospital where none of the nurses checked on him. Finally, a female nurse came and told him that she was sorry for the delay. The man calmly replied, “It’s fine, I’m patient”.

The favorite element of the periodic table for all nurses is Healium!

Why did the nurse need a red crayon?
– She needed to draw blood.

A patient called up a hospital to book an appointment with the doctor. When the nurse wanted to know which doctor the patient would visit, the patient exclaimed that any doctor would do barring a witch doctor!

My brother has wanted to be an osteopath ever since he was a kid.
– I think he felt it in his bones.

The nurse badly wanted to pursue her career as a stand-up comedian. In one of the comedy shows, she literally left everyone in the stitches!

The hospital in my town has a special unit where patients usually read aloud ‘Auld Lang Syne’, ‘A Red, Red Rose’, and other similar poems. I think it is definitely the Burns unit!

Why are nurses afraid of the outdoors?
– Too much poison IV.

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