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Nurse puns in 2025

Nurse: Sorry for the waiting
– Me: No problem, I’m patient.

A nurse and a soldier stepped into a hospital together. The soldier claimed that he was supposed to report there, but the nurse made him understand that he was at a different front line!

The student nurse had her first day at the hospital. When a man with a gashed leg was brought to her,
– the nurse said in wonder, “Ohh gauze”!

Once, a man visited a hospital where none of the nurses checked on him. Finally, a female nurse came and told him that she was sorry for the delay. The man calmly replied, “It’s fine, I’m patient”.

The favorite element of the periodic table for all nurses is Healium!

Why did the nurse need a red crayon?
– She needed to draw blood.

A patient called up a hospital to book an appointment with the doctor. When the nurse wanted to know which doctor the patient would visit, the patient exclaimed that any doctor would do barring a witch doctor!

My brother has wanted to be an osteopath ever since he was a kid.
– I think he felt it in his bones.

The nurse badly wanted to pursue her career as a stand-up comedian. In one of the comedy shows, she literally left everyone in the stitches!

The hospital in my town has a special unit where patients usually read aloud ‘Auld Lang Syne’, ‘A Red, Red Rose’, and other similar poems. I think it is definitely the Burns unit!

Why are nurses afraid of the outdoors?
– Too much poison IV.

My wife, who is a nurse, was talking me through her stressful day of following the national health protocols. I was trying to be supportive so I said, “WHO are they to tell you what to do!”

I once had an eye disorder and was admitted to the hospital. I told the nurse that I could often see things changing colors. The nurse reassured me by saying it was just a pigment of my own imagination!

The hospital in our town once ran a shortage of maternity nurses. It was an absolute midwife crisis!

No matter how much they wanted, TLC will never be allowed to be nurses. The sole reason being they don’t want no scrubs!

What do transplant nurses hate?
– Rejection.

The funniest thing about transplant nurses is that they cannot stand rejection!

My sister is a nurse at the state hospital. She told me that during her student days, the senior nurses told her to walk very slowly past the medicine cabinet so as not to wake the sleeping pills!

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