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Nurse puns in 2024

My brother is a dermatologist. He wanted to start his career again, so he restarted it from scratch!

Never upset a pediatric nurse. They have very little patients.

The young student nurse is known for casting a wide range of spells to treat her patients.
– I think she is a curse practitioner!

A very nervous patient was admitted to get a blood transfusion at the blood bank. The female nurse told her not to worry and B+!

The surgical team was performing a very serious transplant operation. They tried a lot but couldn’t do anything. The nurse had to inform the family as the doctor didn’t have the heart to tell them.

In the hospital, the young nurse constantly wanted to check on the patient that had a bad staph infection. So the doctor asked her as to why she was so abscess-ed with the patient.

My wife is a nurse. When I had to woo her, I had to be patient!

What did the nurse say to the man who fainted at the airport terminal?
– I think you might have a terminal illness.

A friend of mine is a doctor. He became a dermatologist as he took many rash decisions in life!

Names are often weird and hilarious. My sister’s best friend is a nurse, and one of her sole jobs is inserting tubes in patients. Her name is Catherine!

The doctor took a look at my arm’s x-ray and started laughing loudly. When I asked him the reason for his laughter, he said that he found it humerus!

Nurses use a social technique to know if their patient is lying to them or not. They use the help of a device known as a de-FIB-rillator!

The window decided to pay a visit to his house physician as he was in a lot of pane!

What is it called when a hospital runs out of maternity nurses?
– A mid-wife crisis!

After suffering an accident, I was taken to the hospital. The student nurse wanted to stitch my hand, but I refused,
– so she angrily retorted, “Suture self!”.

The alligator was badly injured while fighting a shark, so he visited the jungle hospital. The nurse immediately brought him gator-aid!

Before my surgery, the nurse asked me for an emergency contact number. I told her: “It’s 911.”

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong…
– Is probably going off duty.

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