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Nurse puns in 2024

I once had an eye disorder and was admitted to the hospital. I told the nurse that I could often see things changing colors. The nurse reassured me by saying it was just a pigment of my own imagination!

The hospital in our town once ran a shortage of maternity nurses. It was an absolute midwife crisis!

No matter how much they wanted, TLC will never be allowed to be nurses. The sole reason being they don’t want no scrubs!

What do transplant nurses hate?
– Rejection.

The funniest thing about transplant nurses is that they cannot stand rejection!

My sister is a nurse at the state hospital. She told me that during her student days, the senior nurses told her to walk very slowly past the medicine cabinet so as not to wake the sleeping pills!

One day, Thor was taking care of his sick brother, Loki. He was trying to norse him back to life.

The little kid badly wanted to play hide and seek at the hospital, but his parents always found him in the ICU!

How do you know when a nurse is having a bad day?
– She won’t stop needling people.

The first time I met with my wife was when she was a student nurse.
– We met for a casual tea!

When the father of the girl who swallowed ten quarters enquired about her health, the nurse replied, “No change as of now”.

Nurses are very weird and always answer in a negative way. I told my registered nurse friend to stay safe during this pandemic, she just replied, “You stay negative”.

A snail went to the hospital when it felt sick. The nurse gave the dehydrated, poor animal a snailine solution.

During the surgery, the nurse told the expecting father that she would deliver the child. The bemused father replied that he would want his kid with the liver!

Don’t mess with me—I get paid to poke people with very sharp objects.

Nurses often have the best job in a hospital. They become the coolest person in the building when taking charge of the ultrasound duties!

I was once admitted to the hospital after I broke my leg. The room was very dark, so the nurse switched on the light and said, “Now, the doctor will see you”.

The only reason why nurses always carry red-colored pens or crayons with them is because they like to draw blood!

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