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Nut puns in 2025

What type of nut doesn’t like baseball?
– A sick nut.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut give it away.

Nut-thing lasts forever, except my love for you!

What was said by the wire to the electrician?
– Don’t twist my nuts.

Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant?
– Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.

What did Uncle Jim say to the pecan?
– Answer: I only have pies for you.

What nut makes you sneeze?
– A ca-shew!

What did the nut say after being thrown in the oven?
– Almond fire!

What is the best way to ensure a picture frame will stay put?
– Attach the picture frame to the wall with walnuts.

What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel?
– A busted nut.

ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
– ALDI’s nuts

The squirrel realized it was nuts when it was told “you are what you eat”.

The peanut butter smeared by the man on the street so that the peanut butter can move well with the traffic.

Why are your secrets safe with a walnut eater?
– Because they walnut give them away.

Police found the local ice cream man in his van covered in raspberry sauce, nuts and hundreds & thousands. They think he topped himself…

I will start my journey today and I walnut fail.

Where do nuts live in West London?
– In Nut-tinghill.

What was said by the car driver to the nut?
– Where is your home?

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