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Nut puns in 2024

Truck drivers who haul almonds are driving me nuts!

Why are cashews great at chasing criminals?
– Because by their nature they cashew the best.

Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes?
– They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.

I just got over my addiction to chocolate, nuts and marshmallows.
– I have to admit it was a rocky road.

If you don’t like my jokes, I guess I’m acorn-y.

What would the hanging nuts be called?
– Walnuts.

Did you hear about how Planters is planning to launch an astronaut in space?
– They call their candidates for space astro-nuts.

Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a pyramid covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. It’s believed to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher.

I walnut forget your birthday, that’s for sure.

You could say that our family is like fudge. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!

What was said by the pedophile to the nut cracker?
– you are too young to be performing that.

What’s the most popular motivational t-shirt?
– Stay c-almond and collected.

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
– Answer: Cashew

I’ll cashew later!

Have you seen how they milk an almond?
– It’s just nuts!

Why do peanut butter sandwiches make great social media wogs?
– Because they spread it around.

What do you call a nut who works hard?
– One who burns the mid-nut oil.

What does a Chestnut tree and an asylum have in common
– They’re both full of nuts

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