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Nut puns in 2024

What do nervous nuts do under police interrogation?
– They crack.

What did the one nut say to the nut?
– Answer: Cashew later

What do you call a walnut that likes to exercise?
– A health nut.

Mixed nuts are just cashews with obstacles.

The covered almond looked at the mirror, and it said, “that’s me in a nutshell”.

Why do bodybuilders buy a ton of walnuts?
– Because they are health nuts.

Why are almond milkers crazy?
– They’re around nuts all day.

Why did the boy leave the chestnuts in the rain?
– Answer: He wanted them rusted…

What will Hamlet say if he was a squirrel?
– To be or nut to be!

Nothing is said by the peanut to the elephant because peanuts don’t have the ability to talk.

What’s another name for a chess-nut?
– A nut who loves chess.

A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “in a nut shell, it’s an oak tree”.

What was said by the wire to the electrician?
– Don’t twist my nuts.

Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant?
– Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.

What did Uncle Jim say to the pecan?
– Answer: I only have pies for you.

What nut makes you sneeze?
– A ca-shew!

What did the nut say after being thrown in the oven?
– Almond fire!

What is the best way to ensure a picture frame will stay put?
– Attach the picture frame to the wall with walnuts.

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