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Nut puns in 2025

Why did the man call the fire department for help?
– Because he was eating nuts and he had an almond-fire.

Which nut is the worst for your diet?
– Answer: Donuts

What happens to a peanut when it goes to space?
– It becomes an astro-nut.

A paralyzed nut is recognized as a busted nut.

Why did the doctor recommend the man with a cold stop eating cashews?
– Because cash-ews make you sneeze.

What is the most popular valentine among nuts?
– The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”

I want to tell you a peanut butter pun but you might spread it around.

Why is good judgment always given by vegetarians?
– Because vegetarians are used to digesting nuts.

Why do pine nuts make you very slow at the bank?
– Because you walk pine-fully slow.

Mr Cashew, Mr Pistachio, what do you think you are?
– Answer: Nuts

What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
– I will cashew.

If you put ice cream on that nutty brownie, it becomes ala-mond.

What kind of label did the almond milk have on it?
– Not like any udder milk.

Which nut is worth the most?
– Answer: Cash-ew

You pe-can do it!

Even Peanuts have a dream to fly around in space costumes, they are known as astronuts.

Why was the cashew frustrated in class when trying to ask questions?
– Because the teacher kept saying, nut now.

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
– They like to keep their nuts dry.*

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