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Paper puns in 2025

Why is it more profitable to buy cardboard boxes online?
– You always get an extra one.

The electrician reads the newspaper all the time. I guess he just likes to stay current.

I got a paper cut while doing my Statistics homework
– but I can’t figure out the odds of getting that?

I ran out of toilet paper last week and can’t afford to buy more till I get paid next week, so I started using the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in……
……… The Times are really Rough!!!

What did a blind person say when he touched a sand paper?
– “Who wrote this nonsense?”

Once I failed to fly a paper plane I made.
I always thought I was good at making paper planes
– but sadly, the paper plane remained stationary.

A paper’s favorite kind of candy is tic tac toe.

Boating sounds like a terrible idea on paper
– But it’s a thousand times better on water.

What will happen when the world runs out of toilet paper?
– Depends.

What happened when the paper bomb blasted?
– Everyone crumbled.

As a paper collector, the only Audi I can A4’d is a paper Audi.

I wanted to use a paper map when sightseeing but my girlfriend insisted on using her phone
– It was my way or the Huawei.

What is a paper’s favorite type of fabric?
– Velvet.

I often read The Sun. It is a hard tabloid to swallow.

You should never trust someone who owes a lot of graph paper
– because they might be plotting something.

Communism sounds good on paper…
..unless you’re reading a history book.

What did I do when a cop pulled me and said “papers”?
– I said “scissors” and drove away.

Once, we were so poor during the pandemic that we had to use calendars instead of toilet papers.
I am so glad those days are behind us.

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