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Paper puns in 2025

What is the favorite sport of a cardboard?
– Boxing.

The 600 year old vampire went to the corner store to buy a load of newspapers.
He said, “You might think they’re old fashioned but to me, they are all news.”

The printer was making a lot of noise
– because the papers were jamming.

I always wondered why rock didn’t beat paper in rock paper scissors
– Turns out rock just couldn’t cut it

What did the paper clip say to the magnet
– I find you very attractive

What would you call a piece of paper that has a bull on it?
– Bull sheet.

My math teacher has often been found alone with a bunch of graph papers.
I bet he is plotting something against the students.

I wrote some emotional words for my sister on a piece of folded paper
– but she threw it away. She never card for me.

Why did a toilet paper feel the need to roll down the hill?
– Because it had to get to the bottom of it.

What kind of paper always stick to each other?
– Adhesive paper.

I took up a job as the repairman for the paper currency machine
– but my job isn’t making cents.

“Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?”
“No..”
“Hey, everybody! I found the guy!”

What is a belt made of cardboard called?
– A waist of paper.

I recently found out you can recycle newspapers.
I am sorry if that’s old news to you.

The Terminator found the toilet paper in Aisle B, Back.

A cop pulled me over and said “Papers”.
– I yelled “Scissors” and drove off.

I saw an advert in the paper “Yacht for sale”.
– As if people dont know what a yacht is for.

Ever wondered why a piece of paper never wins a race?
– Because paper is stationary.

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