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Paper puns in 2025

What is a paper’s favorite type of fabric?
– Velvet.

I often read The Sun. It is a hard tabloid to swallow.

You should never trust someone who owes a lot of graph paper
– because they might be plotting something.

Communism sounds good on paper…
..unless you’re reading a history book.

What did I do when a cop pulled me and said “papers”?
– I said “scissors” and drove away.

Once, we were so poor during the pandemic that we had to use calendars instead of toilet papers.
I am so glad those days are behind us.

The cowboy who was wearing paper clothes got arrested
– because he was rustling.

What happened to the lady who was looking for toilet papers in the mall?
– She found her prince Charmin.

I was late to drive my daughter to school
– because I was reading the newspaper.
She was really upset with me as I am always behind the Times.

Yesterday someone stole my piece of paper. I lost my sheet.

A Korean immigrant was beaten up by police after they asked for his name and registration papers during a routine traffic stop.
– “I never have received seen such bad behaviour by cops” said Mr Fuuk Yu.

Why did I give up on origami as a hobby?
– There was a lot of paperwork.

Last week I submitted 10 puns to my local newspaper for a pun writing contest
– but none of them got selected. Apparently, there was no pun in ten did.

Two papers broke up because they were not on the same page.
One was an A4 and other was 8.5 x 11.

I refuse to use a pencil and a ruler on anything but paper…
– that’s where I draw the line.

What kind of life does a toilet paper live?
– It’s generally on a roll.

What do you call a paper who is a musical star?
– Rapping paper.

There’s a reason why burrito isn’t made out of papers.
It will be tearable idea.

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