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Purple puns in 2025

My friend has synaesthesia. I made the mistake of asking him the time; he replied, “Half past purple.”

Could I get arrested for having purple flowers in my home?
– I know that cops take a dim view of domestic violets.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
– Breathe!

Did you hear about Rudolph the Reindeer?
– Apparently he ran away from Santa, got tattooed and dyed his fur purple. He truly is a rebel without a Claus.

Why is the Kool-Aid Man red instead of purple?
– Because with grape powder comes great responsibility.

There’s a new breed of dog, which is purple from nose to tail. It’s called a Grape Dane.

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant?
– They are both purple except for the elephant.

Purple is the best color for camouflage, it really is. After all, have you ever seen a soldier dressed in purple?

A ship carrying purple paint ran into a ship carrying brown paint.
– The survivors were marooned.

There’s a purple couple living on my street, who were recently arrested. Turns out they were violet to each other.

My least favorite color is purple
I hate it more than blue and red combined

What do you call a purple dog?
– A grape dane

I was very determined to paint our house purple, to the point that my partner and I got into an argument. She told me she didn’t like my tone.

What’s purple and screams a lot?
– A damson in distress.

whats the difference between red and purple?
– your grip

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
– “Breathe damn it, breathe!”

What does a green grape tell a purple grape?
– “Breathe, you idiot, breathe!”

Hear about my purple neighbors?
– Apparently they had to mauve out. After all, they were too violet with one another, plum too loud, and one was a fuschiative of the law.

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