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Purple puns in 2025

Purple is the best color for camouflage, it really is. After all, have you ever seen a soldier dressed in purple?

A ship carrying purple paint ran into a ship carrying brown paint.
– The survivors were marooned.

There’s a purple couple living on my street, who were recently arrested. Turns out they were violet to each other.

My least favorite color is purple
I hate it more than blue and red combined

What do you call a purple dog?
– A grape dane

I was very determined to paint our house purple, to the point that my partner and I got into an argument. She told me she didn’t like my tone.

What’s purple and screams a lot?
– A damson in distress.

whats the difference between red and purple?
– your grip

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
– “Breathe damn it, breathe!”

What does a green grape tell a purple grape?
– “Breathe, you idiot, breathe!”

Hear about my purple neighbors?
– Apparently they had to mauve out. After all, they were too violet with one another, plum too loud, and one was a fuschiative of the law.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
– Breathe you fool breath

I bought my friend some pink thread but it turns out they wanted purple… Oops, sorry – this is the wrong thread.

What is purple and sits in the corner of the room with a pointed hat on?
– A naughty plum.

What do you call a buffalo that’s pink, blue and purple?
– A BIson!

There’s a great tip for those who live in a purple house: if all the lights go off, check the fuchsia box.

I do love wearing the color purple. It makes me feel like a prince among men.

Why did Magneto stop wearing his purple suit?
– Because the days of fuchsia past

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