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Rock puns in 2024

I’m getting really sick and tired of always getting called to school because the only types of rock my son knows are punk, classic, and heavy metal.

I’ll never take you for granite.

Stone-cold sober.

Where does the rock often go to sleep?
-In a bedrock.

Power to the pebble!

I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.

What did the rock say to the word processor?
-Boulder.

I’m going to look for gems this weekend, and I may need your assi-stones.

What did the judge say to the angry rock star?
-He charged him with basalt and battery.

The new geology teacher hasn’t had it easy
– he got off to a rocky start.

 A stone’s throw away.

What is the most favourite band of rocks?
-It is The Rolling Stones.

 This book about rocks is a fascinating pebble-cation.

What do you do with dead geologists?
-You barium.

How on earth did the two geologists manage to have such a successful marriage?
-Simple, they understood that everyone has their faults.

The tectonic plates just couldn’t maintain a relationship
-there was too much friction between them.

What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
-This is too much pressure!

 If you’re going to claim to be the best stone mason, the least you could do is have some concrete proof.

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