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Rock puns in 2025

Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
-He just couldn’t put it down.

I’m getting really sick and tired of always getting called to school because the only types of rock my son knows are punk, classic, and heavy metal.

I’ll never take you for granite.

Stone-cold sober.

Where does the rock often go to sleep?
-In a bedrock.

Power to the pebble!

I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.

What did the rock say to the word processor?
-Boulder.

I’m going to look for gems this weekend, and I may need your assi-stones.

What did the judge say to the angry rock star?
-He charged him with basalt and battery.

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