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Salad puns in 2024

Did you hear about the two bunnies’ engagement?
– One of them got a 10-carrot ring!

I had this awful dream last night I was making a salad. I was tossing all night.

What did the priest say to the nun at the salad bar?
Lettuce pray.
*very proud of this joke, wrote it yeas ago and it still makes me laugh every time.

The artichoke said to the man eating a salad: “have a heart”.

My DJ friend took my advice and changed his salad recipe. He dropped the beet.

Lettuce know if you’re having a good time.

Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don’t know is that he wasn’t stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad – hence the name “Caesar’s Salad.” When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:
– Ate two, Brute.

I just leaf you so much!

This salad cost me an arm and a leek!

I’m kale-ing it a day.

Why was the celery embarrassed?
– It walked in on the salad dressing.

There’s another bacterial salad outbreak…
– Yet lettuce romaine calm 🤦🏻‍♂️

I hate it when salad bars are a mess. The produce should romaine in their containers.

I don’t know how to make a Caesar salad
– But I’m willing to take a stab at it.

What’s a carrot’s favorite movie?
– The Carrot-tie Kid.

What causes that vague feeling of unease when you look at an anthropomorphic salad?
– The uncanny Hidden Valley effect.

A dancer’s favorite green is spin-ach.

Me: What’s the cowboys favorite salad dressing?
Dude: Ranch.

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