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Salad puns in 2024

When the teacher lectured about leafy greens, it was a chard lesson.

I didn’t take the job at the salad bar because the celery was too low.

I’ve been thinking of you.

Why did the carrot visit a psychic?
– To get its carrot cards read.

Leaf me alone!

What did the priest say to the salad before he ate it?
– Lettuce pray.

Joe had this awful dream last night he was making a salad. He was tossing all night.

That romaines a mystery…

Where did the salad dressing go for rehab?
– The Mayo Clinic

That was a close kale.

What horror movie do all vegetables love?
– The silence of the Yams.

The corn farmer doesn’t like to make plans—he prefers to play everything by ear.

I made a chicken salad this morning. This stupid thing is he won’t eat it.

I think I will never have the Neverland-Ranch on my salad again.

Wife: I know you don’t like olives, but there are so many in this salad. I can’t get them out.
Me: Olive

Lettuce celebrate!

Why was the snowman embarrassed when shopping for carrots?
– It was picking its nose.

I asked my SO why she could be a healthy salad.
– Because I get you undressed

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