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Salad puns in 2025

Me: What’s the cowboys favorite salad dressing?
Dude: Ranch.

Scientists are saying salads will be a thing of the past. Lettuce romaine calm.

What happened to the lettuce farmers who had their crops stolen?
– They lost their heads!

I would make you a salad but I don’t have thyme.

What type of lettuce do skeletons use for their salads?
– Human Romaines

Let’s not beet around the bush here.

Peas don’t go.

The salad got into a fight with its friend and said some harsh words
—now, it’s full of vin-regret.

A man goes to the doctor with lettuce in his hear. The doctor said “it is just the tip of the iceberg”.

Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,
“Dad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.

What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing?
– Lettuce all smile.

Why did the carrot make a hair appointment?
– Its roots were showing.

This joke is like that time I slipped into a salad. Corny on the cobb.

When you finish all the ranch on your salad, you’ve effectively undressed the salad.

I’d tell you a joke about a potato but I don’t know where to starch.

The salad won an award for going beyond the kale of duty.

Care to chat for the romaine-der of the meeting?

A Dad goes to a restaurant and orders a salad
Waitress: “Not a problem, what kind of dressing do you prefer?”
Dad: “Un dressing is my favorite”
Credit: my old man

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