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Sewing puns in 2025

Yes, I have a sewing machine and yes I like to sew. No, I don’t want to hem your pants or fix your curtains for 1/3 the price of a tailor. Do it yourself if you think it takes a minute.

Last night I ran out of sewing needles.

I just spent two hours organizing my stockpile of fabric. I think I will reward myself with a trip to the fabric store.

My husband was on pins and needles when I reached the final round in a sewing competition.

Russia does not require cotton, because they got Lenin.

Me: I’ve gathered then that you’re decreeing me champion. I must say I’m fusing mad that you’re giving up.

I designed my own pillow. The pillow to rule all pillows. The perfect dimensions, the perfect stiffness, the perfect material. I sought the finest fabrics from around the globe and set to work on my grandest creation. It took months, but I finished. The last step was to transport it from the sewing room upstairs to my bedroom downstairs. Alas, I dropped it from the top of the stairs and by the time it reached the bottom there was stuffing everywhere, and all of the thread had come loose. It appeared I would have to live without my pillow or sew its seams.

A man and a quilt will both keep you warm at night, but a quilt never says anything stupid.

Whenever all the quilters gather in the sewing club the club always has a block party.

“What do you call a gathering of quilters? A block party.”

Yarn knot going find it here.

How do a seamstress travel? Stitch-hiking.

Me at the fabric store: Should I buy this piece of fabric for my stash? Head: No, Wallet: No, Store owner: No. Husband: Heck no. Me: I’ll take 5 yards, please.

The tailor has been working on a dress for hours now. She seam-stressed.

My grandma always used to spin a yarn for me to make me sleep.

Dear fabric store worker. Don’t ask me what I’m making, I’m running out of code words. It’s going in my fabric stash.

I should go to the supermarket and grab myself a punnet.

I only quilt on days that end in “y”.

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