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Sewing puns in 2025

Russia does not require cotton, because they got Lenin.

Me: I’ve gathered then that you’re decreeing me champion. I must say I’m fusing mad that you’re giving up.

I designed my own pillow. The pillow to rule all pillows. The perfect dimensions, the perfect stiffness, the perfect material. I sought the finest fabrics from around the globe and set to work on my grandest creation. It took months, but I finished. The last step was to transport it from the sewing room upstairs to my bedroom downstairs. Alas, I dropped it from the top of the stairs and by the time it reached the bottom there was stuffing everywhere, and all of the thread had come loose. It appeared I would have to live without my pillow or sew its seams.

A man and a quilt will both keep you warm at night, but a quilt never says anything stupid.

Whenever all the quilters gather in the sewing club the club always has a block party.

“What do you call a gathering of quilters? A block party.”

Yarn knot going find it here.

How do a seamstress travel? Stitch-hiking.

Me at the fabric store: Should I buy this piece of fabric for my stash? Head: No, Wallet: No, Store owner: No. Husband: Heck no. Me: I’ll take 5 yards, please.

The tailor has been working on a dress for hours now. She seam-stressed.

My grandma always used to spin a yarn for me to make me sleep.

Dear fabric store worker. Don’t ask me what I’m making, I’m running out of code words. It’s going in my fabric stash.

I should go to the supermarket and grab myself a punnet.

I only quilt on days that end in “y”.

Two sewing machines were strolling in a park. One of those machines asked the other “Are you a singer?”. The other replied “ja-no-me”.

I was out of all my puns on embroidery, or sew it seems.

It is all fun and games until the bobbin runs out.

My friend composes songs about sewing machines. He’s a Singer-songwriter.

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