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Sewing puns in 2025

I recently started sewing myself a sweater but I didn’t have all the proper equipment…needle-less to say, I didn’t get very far.

Hand me my seam ripper, then slowly back away.

I’m not addicted to knitting, I can stop after just one more row.

When the baby needle went missing, his family contacted Inspector Clue-sew.

My room had no heater so my mother told me to keep plenty of blankets. I told her that I had it all covered already.

Betsy: I surrender.

Everybody in the village agreed that I did an excellent job of sewing their mouths shut. After I left, they were humming my praises.

My dream world? A place where the fabric is free and sewing make you thin.

A quilter who works as a comedian part-time will leave you in stitches.

“How did you know the thief was a seamstress? She seemed to be following a pattern.”

I don’t seam to get it

Why couldn’t Santa convince the quilter to come to visit? he didn’t have enough backing.

I’m a quilting grandma. Much like a normal grandma. Except much cooler.

I thought of learning sewing, but I didn’t have all the equipment. Needle-ss to say didn’t reach any further.

A dyer has worked for 40 years in the factory and he is retiring today. Now we are in dyer need.

Yes, I have a sewing machine and yes I like to sew. No, I don’t want to hem your pants or fix your curtains for 1/3 the price of a tailor. Do it yourself if you think it takes a minute.

Last night I ran out of sewing needles.

I just spent two hours organizing my stockpile of fabric. I think I will reward myself with a trip to the fabric store.

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