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Sewing puns in 2025

I think my wife’s sewing machine is on the blink. I’m not sure what’s wrong, it just doesn’t seam right

I’m a fabricaholic on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m on the way to the fabric store.

The seamstress is charged to have stolen a sewing machine, and she seems quilty to me.

“My wife’s sewing machine isn’t working properly. Not sure what’s wrong with it though, it just seams a little off”

You needle to stop spewing, and start sewing.

How do quilting babies learn to walk? With a walking foot.

Dear fabric store worker. Don’t ask me what I’m making, I’m running out of code words. It’s going in my fabric stash.

My sister was feeling sick, so my mother took her to the hospital. Now, she is all patched up.

My friend told the teacher that he met with an accident and had to rest for a few days. His whole story was fabricated.

I’m not easily distracted, I… wait is that fabric you have laying over there?

I recently started sewing myself a sweater but I didn’t have all the proper equipment…needle-less to say, I didn’t get very far.

Hand me my seam ripper, then slowly back away.

I’m not addicted to knitting, I can stop after just one more row.

When the baby needle went missing, his family contacted Inspector Clue-sew.

My room had no heater so my mother told me to keep plenty of blankets. I told her that I had it all covered already.

Betsy: I surrender.

Everybody in the village agreed that I did an excellent job of sewing their mouths shut. After I left, they were humming my praises.

My dream world? A place where the fabric is free and sewing make you thin.

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