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Sleep puns in 2025

The patient said to the anesthesiologist, “Can I put myself to sleep?”
– Anesthesiologist: “Knock yourself out!”

What kind of concert only costs 45 cents?
– A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.

Why did the little boy take a ruler to bed with him?
– To see how long he slept!

How do you stop sleepwalking?
– You stick drawing pins on the floor of the bedroom.

Why do clowns wear loud socks?
– To stop their feet from falling asleep.

What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom?
– It’s time to go to sweep.

What do you call a sleeping woodcutter?
– A slumber-jack!

Did you hear about the man who kept hearing a mouse squeaking at night?
– He got up and tried to oil it!

What is it that’s doubly tired?
– A bicycle!

The urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just
– a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.

The male pig puts everyone to sleep.
– You could say he’s quite the boar.

Where do fish sleep?
– On the river bed!

What happens when you dream that you wrote ‘The Lord Of The Rings?’
– You start Tolkien in your sleep.

Why is it so tiring to fix a toilet?
– Because the work is draining.

I know someone who was habitually late until his doctor recommended sleeping in a herb garden.

What did the grape say when it got crushed?
– Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

What does a Mummy cow read to a baby cow before bed?
– Dairy tales!

Why did the band’s guitarist pass out on stage?
– Because he rocked himself to sleep.

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