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Sleep puns in 2025

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep.
– It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

What did the Mummy broom say to the baby broom?
– It’s time to go to sweep!

Why did the man run around his bed?
– He wanted to catch up on his sleep!

What do you call a person who is tired of playing card games?
– Cardboard.

My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed.
– Jokes on him, I sleep in a real car.

I finally got eight hours of sleep.
– It took me three days, but whatever.

Which animal sleeps with its shoes on?
– A horse!

Do you know which animal falls asleep with its shoes on?
– A horse.

Woke up the other day with a puzzled look on my face.
– Had fallen asleep on my crossword.

Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to close its eyes and go to sleep?
– It was pasta bedtime!

What did Bruce Wayne’s Mum hang over his bed?
– A bat mobile!

“Doctor, how can I stop my sleepwalking?”
– “Easy, just put drawing pins on the bedroom floor.”

What do you do when someone is tired and doesn’t know how to nap?
– You give them a crash course.

I would love to be paid to sleep.
– It would be my dream job.

Is your iPad making you fall asleep?
– There’s a nap for that.

What do you call a really sleepy egg?
– Egg-zosted!

Do you know at what time tennis players go to sleep?
– At ten-nish.

Do you know why bicycles can’t stand on their own?
– Because they are tired.

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