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Squirrel puns in 2025

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
– To keep their nuts dry.

Have you heard about the new squirrel diet?
– It’s just nuts.

You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case.
– Why?
– They think you are nuts.

How do you get a squirrel to lien you
– You act like a nut

What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
– An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.

My Dad and I watched a squirrel get spun off a bird feeder…
– When the squirrel did it again, Dad said that the squirrel was absolutely nuts.

neigh it won’t work…. nut enough puns

Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say… Unless you’re Chinese. Then it’s ‘squirrel’.

What did the racing pigeon say to the racing squirrel?
– Don’t act like a nut and try to beat me because you walnut be able to go faster than me.

Why didn’t the squirrel cross the telephone line?
– Because it was busy.

Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
– To the nut-house.

Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
– To stay away from the nuts on the ground.

What did the squirrel say to the police dog?
– Stop barking up the wrong tree and don’t act like a nut.

My son asked me how to tell a boy squirrel from a girl squirrel.
– I told him to check for nuts.

Which ballet do squirrels like best?
– The nutcracker.

What do you call a squirrel that goes to space?
– An astro-nut

This thread is going to get so a-corny.

A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”. He was nuts.

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