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Squirrel puns in 2024

Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
– Because their nuts won’t fit

I’d make fun of what squirrels eat
– But it’d be acorn-y joke.

What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
– A female squirrel.

What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
– I’m gonna go out on a limb here.

If a squirrel and a raccoon were playing scrabble, who would win?
– The squirrel, because it has a ‘Q’.

What does a dog say when it chases a squirrel up to the tree?
– Bark!

It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.

Why do squirrels swim on their back?
– To protect their nuts.

If squirrels could tell jokes, they’d be quick and to the point Because they’d be in a nut shell.

Why didn’t the squirrel eat the macadamia?
– It was a tough nut to crack.

What did the squirrel say the time she managed to accidentally catch her tail in the door?
– It won’t be long now.

I got thrown out of the park for measuring the squirrels
– I guess they didn’t want me critter sizing.

Why did the police arrest the squirrels in the park?
– For busting a nut in public view.

What type of TV do squirrels watch?
– Nut-flix.

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
– To keep their nuts dry.

Why are squirrels not circus animals?
– They don’t like to work for peanuts.

Why are so many squirrels rich?
– Because they are good at squirrellin away their money.

I just got thrown out of my local park for arranging the squirrels by height.
– They didn’t like my critter sizing.

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