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Terrible puns in 2025

Pencils could be made with erasers at each end, but what would be the point?

What do you call a happy cowboy?
-A jolly rancher.

 I saw an ad that said “television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full” and I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
-He neverlands.

Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

Doctor, doctor, help! I think I’m shrinking! Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks.
-Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.

Don’t ever believe an atom, they make up everything.

If a kid won’t take a nap, is that “resisting a rest”?

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
-Dam.

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
-A firequacker.

If you’re considering working in a prison library, you’ll need to consider both the prose and the cons.

What do you get if you cross a snake with a pie?
-A pie-thon.

If you ever feel cold just stand in a corner.
-They’re usually around 90 degrees.

I thought about becoming a witch so I tried it for a short spell.

Jokes about german sausage are the wurst.

Why was the cow afraid?.
-He was a cow-herd.

Don’t drink with ghosts, they can’t handle their boos.

I dropped my toothpaste, I’m crestfallen.

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