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Terrible puns in 2025

Pencils could be made with erasers at each end, but what would be the point?

What do you call a happy cowboy?
-A jolly rancher.

 I saw an ad that said “television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full” and I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
-He neverlands.

Don’t ever believe an atom, they make up everything.

If a kid won’t take a nap, is that “resisting a rest”?

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
-Dam.

Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

Doctor, doctor, help! I think I’m shrinking! Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks.
-Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.

I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

Which dinosaur has the best vocabulary?
– The thesaurus.

The man ignored him, and sang louder

Why are all dogs bad storytellers?
– Because they only have one tale.

I just bought a thesaurus from the book store, but when I got home all the pages were blank.
-There are no words to describe how angry I am.

Some people say I’m addicted to somersaults, but that’s just how I roll.

Why do bees have sticky hair?
– Because they use a honeycomb.

I’m working on a device that reads minds.
-I’d love to hear your thoughts.

What noise do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
-Cowboom.

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