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Terrible puns in 2025

What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story?
-Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant.

I’ve just been fired from a clock factory, even after all those extra hours I put in.

What kind of songs do the planets sing?
-Nep-tunes.

I refuse to work with compost, it’s degrading.

Where do cows go for entertainment?
– To the moo-vies.

Why did Johnny throw his clock out of the window?
-Because he wanted to see time fly.

I was was going to tell a joke about a dead parrot, but it was way too Macawbre.

What do you call a horse that lives next door?
-A neigh-bor.

What did Mars say to Saturn?
-Give me a ring sometime.

“I’m no cheetah”. “You’re lion!”

I just burned a Hawaiian pizza I was making.
-Should have cooked it at aloha temperature!

Have you ever tried to write your own puns?
-It’s a fairly difficult pun-dertaking.

What did the judge say when the skunk came into the courtroom?
-Odor in the court.

I got a job at a bakery, because I knead dough.

I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.

What do you call a ghost’s true love?
-His ghoul-friend.

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
-A firequacker.

If you’re considering working in a prison library, you’ll need to consider both the prose and the cons.

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