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Terrible puns in 2024

What do you call a sleeping bull?
– A bull-dozer.

All the toilets in the NYPD Headquarters have been stolen.
– The police apparently have nothing to go on.

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

What did the ghost teacher say to his class?
-Look at the board and I will go through it again.

The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
-Ten tickles

When is the moon at its heaviest?
-When it’s full.

If a Wizard uses magic to hold up a camera and take a picture of himself, is that a Spellfie?

A friend of mine annoyed me with bird puns.
-But toucan play that game.

What do you call Dracula with hayfever?
– The pollen count.

Learning to sleep upside down is hard for bats, but eventually they get the hang of it.

What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story?
-Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant.

I’ve just been fired from a clock factory, even after all those extra hours I put in.

What kind of songs do the planets sing?
-Nep-tunes.

I refuse to work with compost, it’s degrading.

Where do cows go for entertainment?
– To the moo-vies.

Why did Johnny throw his clock out of the window?
-Because he wanted to see time fly.

I was was going to tell a joke about a dead parrot, but it was way too Macawbre.

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