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Terrible puns in 2025

A friend of mine annoyed me with bird puns.
-But toucan play that game.

What do you call Dracula with hayfever?
– The pollen count.

Learning to sleep upside down is hard for bats, but eventually they get the hang of it.

What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story?
-Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant.

I’ve just been fired from a clock factory, even after all those extra hours I put in.

What kind of songs do the planets sing?
-Nep-tunes.

I refuse to work with compost, it’s degrading.

Where do cows go for entertainment?
– To the moo-vies.

Why did Johnny throw his clock out of the window?
-Because he wanted to see time fly.

I was was going to tell a joke about a dead parrot, but it was way too Macawbre.

What do you call a horse that lives next door?
-A neigh-bor.

What did Mars say to Saturn?
-Give me a ring sometime.

“I’m no cheetah”. “You’re lion!”

I just burned a Hawaiian pizza I was making.
-Should have cooked it at aloha temperature!

Have you ever tried to write your own puns?
-It’s a fairly difficult pun-dertaking.

What did the judge say when the skunk came into the courtroom?
-Odor in the court.

I got a job at a bakery, because I knead dough.

I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.

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