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Terrible puns in 2025

Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.

What did one eye say to the other?
-Between you and me, something smells.

If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?

What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
-A walkie talkie.

A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.
-Unfortunately he lost his case.

If loving kindness changes your life, is that Mettamorphosis?

Why don’t dogs make good dancers?
– Because they have two left feet.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
– Because her students were so bright.

What do you call a sleeping bull?
– A bull-dozer.

All the toilets in the NYPD Headquarters have been stolen.
– The police apparently have nothing to go on.

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

What did the ghost teacher say to his class?
-Look at the board and I will go through it again.

The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
-Ten tickles

When is the moon at its heaviest?
-When it’s full.

If a Wizard uses magic to hold up a camera and take a picture of himself, is that a Spellfie?

A friend of mine annoyed me with bird puns.
-But toucan play that game.

What do you call Dracula with hayfever?
– The pollen count.

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