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Train puns in 2025

If you’re a hunter, you’ve got to make sure you’re not following train tracks!

How do you find a missing train?
– Hire an expert to follow the tracks.

Teachers and railroad security are more similar than you might think. One of them trains the mind, while the other one minds the trains.

I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
– On my desk I have a work station…

No one drinks faster than a train driver: he keeps chugging!

Even the toughest train engineer needs a brake to let off some steam.

I wanted to put together this list of funny train puns a while ago, but I just kept getting side tracked.

A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.

Why are trains the best form of transportation?
– Because they have a proven track record

An express train is just a press train that has lost its job.

Be careful with train drivers, they can go off the rails at anytime!

I swear train conductors never get in trouble. They always seem to have a get out of rail free card.

I once asked a conductor how many times a train he was on had gotten derailed. He told me it was hard to keep track.

What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?
– Investigators aren’t sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.

Train drivers are really scary when they get angry; you’ve got to be careful not to yank their train.

What do you call a locomotive that keeps sneezing?
– Achoo choo train.

I finally figured out why you always try to drive me crazy. You have a locomotive.

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