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Train puns in 2025

Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.

I hate train puns.
– They eventually run off the rails.

I’ve been trying to buy a train ticket online for over an hour now and I’m getting really annoyed
It keeps asking me, ‘Where do you want to go?’

– So I click on the icon that says ‘Home’ and then it makes me start all over again.

Even a train driver needs a brake once in a while, to let off some steam.

A railroad conductor needs to make sure he doesn’t go down the wrong track and lose his train of thought.

What do you call a sick locomotive?
– A train with a coal-d.

And of course… How would you work out how heavy a whale is?
– You would take it to a whale weigh station….

What’s the difference between a train conductor and a teacher?
– One minds the train while the other trains the mind.

When a train is tired, it is called a slowcomotive.

Train drivers are known for their engine-uity!

I always like chewing gum on the train. Unlike teachers, locomotives always tell you to choo choo.

Why do trains take so long to arrive on Halloween?
– They’re running with a skeleton service.

What did the supervillain say when he got off at the last train station?
– It’s the end of the line for me!

The train driver loves attention – he loves knowing he’s the train event at the party.

Railroad workers aren’t what they used to be. I remember in the good old days all the conductors were a little loco and full of self e-steam.

Why did the ghost get fired from his job at the railroad?
– He couldn’t coordinate the skeleton service!

Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.

The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.
– He had loco-motives

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