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Train puns in 2025

Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…

The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
– The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

I saw a train and was trying to think of a good dad joke..
– And then it hit me

The locomotive driver can never get into trouble: he has a get out of rail free card.

The train company had safety issues for years but were always able to cover their tracks.

How do you make the locomotive olympics?
– Train really hard.

I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set, so I threw a bedsheet over it.
– I think I managed to cover my tracks.

The driver has never missed a single day of work, he’s always there, come train or shine.

I wanted to ask the train driver a question, but in the end I was too afreight to ask.

No matter what, the train I regularly take home is always late. It’s a slowcomotive.

The train conductor was a very sneaky woman, she always had a track or two up her sleeve.

How does a train eat ?
– chew chew

The train driver’s day starts early: he gets up at the track of dawn.

I was able to pick up a few railway buffers for cheap the other day. I took advantage of an end of the line sale.

The train driver was overloaded with work, but he just kept chugging along.

What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard?
– One trains the mind, the other minds the trains…

Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance?
– Because they have two left feet

Why aren’t train engineers made of copper
– Because, the. They’d really be conductors.

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