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Train puns in 2025

I had a friend who quit his gig as a newspaper reporter and took a train out of town. The ex-press train.

Being a train conductor requires you to get up early in the morning. Right at the track of dawn.

Why could no one understand the trains reasoning.
– It had locomotives

In case of emergency, you just have to keep calm and carriage on.

I tried to get a job as a railway conductor, but they didn’t think I had enough training.

The train conductor was feeling silly and decided to wear platform shoes to work.

You can always tell when a train driver is stressed because they bite their rails.

I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said “Not on my watch…
..it’s a brand-new Rolex.”

To drive trains, you have to know every track in the book.

What does a monster see when it sees a train full of passengers?
– A chew chew train.

Always keep an eye on train puns, they can go off the rails without warning!

I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.

Why couldn’t the young, electric train keep up with the old trains?
– Because he ran out of steam

I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said “Not on my watch…
..it’s a brand new Rolex.”

The train driver got promoted: it really was a tram-endous opportunity.

Why can’t train engineers get electrocuted?
– They’re not the conductor.

It was exhausting to listen to the conductor’s argument because she had a one-track mind. It was enough to drive you loco.

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