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Vampire puns in 2024

There’s a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.

I just did a DNA test and found out I’m a vampire. I’m so ashamed, I can’t even look in the mirror.

What’s a vampire’s favorite ethnic food?
– Maxi Pad Thai.

I know an elderly vampire. He’s quite long in the tooth.

Why do people not like vampires? They are true pains in the neck.

I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn’t find a role he could sink his teeth into.

A group of vampire hunters needed to talk about the best tactics, so they decided to schedule a stakeholders meeting.

What is a vampire’s favorite flavor of ice cream?
– Vein-illa

Q: Where do vampire’s wash up?
A: In the bat tub.

What is a vampire duck called? Quackula.

A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn’t his type.

I was told Dracula had turned over a new leaf after hearing some of my Count Dracula jokes. He’s been re-vamped.

What do you call a vampire on sale?
– Discount Dracula.

Where do vampires go when they make deposits? At the blood bank

I’d advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.

Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can’t deal with the stakeholders.

First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy
– **First night as a vampire hunter:** oh no

To kill a French vampire, you need to stick a baguette through his heart. It’s painstaking.

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