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Vampire puns in 2025

What do you call an educated vampire?
– Dr.Acula

My sister-in-law accidentally won a beauty pageant for vampire hunters
– She’s the new Miss Stake.

Why do vampires cherish their family relationships more than anyone else? Blood is thicker than water.

Don’t get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.

Vampires don’t often eat fruit, but when they do they like a blood orange best.

What did the vampire say to the teacher
– see you next period

The reason that Dracula has no friends is because he’s a pain in the neck.

What is the one food that a vampire will never order at a restaurant? A steak.

Vampires hate the sea because it’s salty. They much prefer to go fishing in the blood stream.

I went to a party dressed up as Count Dracula and ate all the snacks. My costume was Vampire The Buffet Slayer.

Why was the vampire in a good mood?
– His last victim’s blood was B+

Q: What do you call someone that sucks the jelly out of donuts?
A: A Jampire

You can’t ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They’re way too busy looking for their necks victim.

All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.

Why don’t vampires use autocorrect?
– Because they love Type Os

What can you tell about a vampire who attacks during the day?
– He’s a daydrinker.

Why do you need to give a vampire cold medication often? For their coffin.

I hope you have a bloody good Halloween!

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