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Vampire puns in 2024

Vampires hate the sea because it’s salty. They much prefer to go fishing in the blood stream.

I went to a party dressed up as Count Dracula and ate all the snacks. My costume was Vampire The Buffet Slayer.

Why was the vampire in a good mood?
– His last victim’s blood was B+

Q: What do you call someone that sucks the jelly out of donuts?
A: A Jampire

You can’t ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They’re way too busy looking for their necks victim.

All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.

Why don’t vampires use autocorrect?
– Because they love Type Os

What can you tell about a vampire who attacks during the day?
– He’s a daydrinker.

Why do you need to give a vampire cold medication often? For their coffin.

I hope you have a bloody good Halloween!

My friend who’s a vampire was depressed. I told him to drink B positive.

what do you call a vampire that drinks blood between meals?
– snackula

Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.

What are the apartments that vampires visit when they go to NYC? The Vampire State Building.

The other day I got really down, and felt like I totally sucked. A vampire cheered me up though, he told me we all get drained every now and again.

Dracula really doesn’t have any other vampire friends. It’s because he’s a total pain in the neck.

If I had to choose, I think I’d rather be a Vegetarian Vampire.
– Beets the alternative.

Q: Who does Dracula get most of his mail from?
A: His fang club.

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