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Vampire puns in 2025

Q: Why did the vampire get kicked out of the house?
A: Because he was a pain in the neck!

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What do you expect to get from a vampire that is a teacher at school? A blood test.

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I’ve always been a little bit batty.

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Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.

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A vampire calls his doctor, “Someting is very, very wrong.”
– When I pee, there is no blood!

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Why are vampires computer experts? They know all about bytes.

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The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.

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Take a vampire to a bar, and you don’t need to ask what he wants to drink. He’ll have a Bloodweiser.

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Why do people think Vampires have Coronavirus?
– Because they’re always coffin.

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A vampire split up with his girlfriend after she had a blood test. She wasn’t his type.

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What holiday does a vampire appreciate the most? Fangs-giving.

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The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.

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Vampires are not very adventurous when you take them to a bar. They always just order a Bloody Mary.

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Why did the vampire fall in love with the Wizard?
– Because the wizard was a neck-romancer.

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Q: What did Dracula say about meeting his girlfriend?
A: It was love at first bite!

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What is a vampire’s favorite type of cheese? Munster.

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Fangs for the memories.

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Dracula is vegan, he can’t take any risks. One stake could kill him.

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