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Vampire puns in 2025

Being a vampire completely sucks.

Vampires tend to stay away from Taylor Swift. I’ve been told it’s because she has bad blood.

You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can’t handle the stakes.

What do you get when you mix a snowman with a vampire?
– frostbite!

I knew a vampire who gave up acting because he couldn’t find a role he could get his teeth in to.

What song does a vampire strongly dislike? Another One Bites The Dust.

One thing you won’t catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.

I killed the last of the vampires last Halloween. When he was gone, I started to sing, “it’s the final count down.”

What do you call a vampire who’s car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank?
– A cab

Q: Why did the vampire’s head pop?
A: He bit someone with high blood pressure

Once I invited 10 vampires over for a dinner party. I made the fatal mistake and put garlic in the dressing. People are calling it Buffet The Vampire Slayer.

Why are vampires so obsessed with necks?
– Because they were raised by a neck romancer.

I met a vampire who is a MASSIVE sociopath
– He has absolutely no capability of self-reflection.

Maybe I should add my name at the local vampire association since they are looking for new blood.

College-age vampires only ever shop in one place – Forever 21.

An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don’t see it coming, and then they dawn on them.

Why did the vampire get nervous during the poker game?
– His opponent had just raised the stakes.

Went to a Halloween fancy dress party dressed as Dracula and ate all the food. I was Vampire the Buffet Slayer.

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