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Vampire puns in 2025

I know an old man who’s a vampire. He’s quite long in the tooth.

You do realize that Vampires aren’t real…
– Unless you Count Dracula.

If vampires have no reflection, how do they do their hair?

What part of the chicken does a vampire eat? The neck.

I hope you have a fang-tastic Halloween!

I asked a vampire if he liked Halloween puns. He told me he thought the best kind of humour was irony.

What kind of ship does a vampire like?
– A blood vessel

Q: Why did the vampire get kicked out of the house?
A: Because he was a pain in the neck!

What do you expect to get from a vampire that is a teacher at school? A blood test.

I’ve always been a little bit batty.

Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.

A vampire calls his doctor, “Someting is very, very wrong.”
– When I pee, there is no blood!

Why are vampires computer experts? They know all about bytes.

The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.

Take a vampire to a bar, and you don’t need to ask what he wants to drink. He’ll have a Bloodweiser.

Why do people think Vampires have Coronavirus?
– Because they’re always coffin.

A vampire split up with his girlfriend after she had a blood test. She wasn’t his type.

What holiday does a vampire appreciate the most? Fangs-giving.

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