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Vegetable puns in 2024

Mom said she’d throw her son from a cliff if he didn’t eat his vegetables …
-… but it was a bluff!

Just turned down a job at my local vegetable shop; the celery was unacceptable.

I hope thistle cheer you up

What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
-A-spear-iguess

Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.

So I’ve lost a bag of cruciferous root vegetables…
-…but it’s okay, I’m sure they’ll turnip somewhere.

Lettuce Romaine Friends

Came home from the store with off-brand vegetable oil
-wife threw it directly in the trash to teach me a wesson

What did the vegetables say before they started praying?
-lettuce pray…

Peas don’t go.

Oh, kale yeah

Do you like vegetables?
-Cause I wanna eat your salad

I love you from my head tomatoes.

I slept well despite the howling kales outside.”

I have a really good vegetable pun
– I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny

Everybody, romaine calm, ok this is not a drill.

What is Dr. Dre’s favorite vegetable?
-Beets.

A vegetable that smells like rotten automobiles
-Carrot

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