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Zombie puns in 2024

What do vegan zombies eat?
– GRAAAAAAAAAINS.

Why did the zombie take a sick day?
– She had cold symp-tombs.

Which place is safe and secured from any harm to live in a zombie apocalypse?
– The living room.

What is said by a zombie on his date?
– I hate brainless women.

Why do they put fences around graveyards?
– Because people are dying to get in!

What’s a zombie’s least favourite quiz question?
– A no-brainer.

What does Mr T say on Halloween?
– I pity the ghoul…

What is done by zombies at a marriage ceremony?
– Roast the bride and groom.

Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
– Because he wanted a light snack.

What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
– You’ll never take me alive.

I always thought zombies ate popcorn with their fingers, but it turns out they eat the fingers separately.

How do zombies maintain their hair on point?
– With scare spray.

Why are all mummies workaholics?
– They’re afraid to unwind.

What streets do zombies live on?
– Dead ends.

What part of the military do zombies serve in?
– The marine corpse.

What is white and black in color and expired all over?
– A zombie in a tuxedo.

What do zombies do at a wedding?
– Toast the bride and groom.

Why did the Vampire read The New York Times?
– He heard it had great circulation.

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